Perfection is a scary, confusing beast to conquer.
It provides momentary satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, some beauty and even occasional motivation to keep chasing it.
But in reality, it's impossible to attain true perfection because in order to attain that we would need to be obsessing with every detail and redoing something over and over to make sure it is absolutely perfect.
That doesn't sound like a fun or fulfilling life!
This is why it's so important to admit to yourself that perfection can't be reached. And THAT'S OKAY!
Join us as we explore the idea of perfection, how to deal with it and how to look at organization from a different perspective.
WHY PERFECTION IS ACTUALLY TOXIC
Perfection invites guilt and shame into our lives.
It is a constant nagging reminder that we are not enough; not good enough, not pretty enough, not organized enough, not "put together" enough.
We find ourselves in a dark place where a lie is whispered into your ear,
"No one will ever like you if you don't get it together."
"People will not respect you unless you figure out how to at least look successful."
"You do not deserve love if you do not work for it."
These are all ridiculous but also very real and painful lies that we believe.
These feelings tend to alienate us and make us feel utterly alone. And these lies grow and prosper in darkness, scaring us into believing that you are the only one who feels this, the only one who is not good enough.
But this is also not true!
We ALL feel the pressures of this world to be perfect.
We ALL know the shame of failure.
We ALL feel the guilt that comes with parenthood.
We ALL feel the anxiety of not having a home that looks like the magazine pictures.
So if we are all in this together, and we are all feeling it, why do we not talk about it?
Why do we continue to either deny our want for perfection, judging others or feed the lies we are told about needing to be perfect?
I challenge you to start up conversation about perfection and shame with some of your friends. Encourage them to share their experiences and their fears as you share yours. Bringing this "secret" issue to the light and building community around it provides you with mutual accountability and encouragement.
We are human. We are faulty. We are flawed. And that is exactly how we were meant to be.
We need to embrace our imperfections and let go of the ideologies that have been holding us back for years, reminding us that we are not good enough or what we have to give to the world is NOT "finished" or "perfect" yet.
This process is difficult, so take your time and give yourself grace.
Have you embraced your own humanity? As you make your to-do list for the day, pretend that you are writing it for someone else. How much would you expect a capable, able adult to do? Do you expect yourself to do more? Why?
STOP THE CHASE
Whether we do it knowingly or subconsciously, we are always striving for perfection of some form.
We want our children to be perfectly behaved, at least when company is over or when we are in public.
We want our homes to look perfect especially when people come by or when we are filming or taking pictures for social media.
We want our comments to sound perfect, politically correct, not offending anyone and staying away from hard topics like race, politics and religion.
Or even more confusing, we spend a lot of time making sure we are looking perfectly imperfect.
That blanket thrown on the bed in a casual, but perfect way, making it look inviting but not messy.
That post on Instagram that shows your real life in an imperfect, "I am real" light which helps us stay relatable but not so bad that someone would dare judge us.
I know you've done it because I do it too!
I want to be vulnerable but I don't want to be a mess.
I want to share my real life but I am also trying to be private.
I want to go deeper in my understanding of racial issues but I don't want to offend anyone or ask the wrong/stupid question.
Be honest with yourself, in what areas of your life are you looking for perfection? Or does your perfection tendencies hide behind "authentic perfection." Evaluate each of those areas and assign to them two numbers; from 1-10 on how much stress you feel daily or weekly about this aspect of your perfection and from 1-10 on how much satisfaction you get daily or weekly when you are able to "get it perfect." I wonder if you will discover something interesting.
EMBRACE A GRACE MINDSET
When it comes to organization, perfection is the name of the game, right?
"Let's clean up your mess and clutter, put it in pretty boxes and make it look perfect so people will think that YOU are successful and perfect too!"
But what if you don't want it to just look perfect? What if you want it to actually work?
What if you're tired of looking at Pinterest and feeling shame from not having the perfect home with a perfect life?
Especially when it comes to organizing our homes, we also tend to think “it won’t to be perfect so why bother?!”
Well guess what?
We don’t need a perfect home. We need a grace filled home.
Write this quote on a piece of paper or print it out and hang it in a well-trafficked, visible area. Are you feeling exhausted as you wash the dishes? Paste the quote by your kitchen sink. Is your pantry a constant point of pain? Tape the quote on the door of the pantry.
HOW TO BE ORGANIZED WITHOUT
THE IDOL OF PERFECTION
I have good news for your, friend,
It is possible to have grace in organization!
Something that seems to be based around perfection, organization does NOT have to be a point of pain and shame.
Here are a few things you can do to help you have a grace-filled home that is still organized and functional:
1. Breathe and be grateful for your space.
I know it's so easy to walk around your home and just see everything that you hate. Though it's good to see where things can be improved, it's ALSO good to be grateful for the parts that you love and that make it a true home for you.
2️. Start small and start easy.
Overwhelm is one of your biggest enemies when it comes to organization. It keeps us frozen, feeling hopeless and alone. I suggest starting to organize with something easy that won't take a long time and the emotional stakes might not be so high. Ex: linen closet, bathroom, a kitchen drawer, etc. This is your warm up, not the main event.
3️. Start with what you have.
I get that we all want to go out and buy awesome storage bins or pantry organizers to get us excited about organizing. But this only postpones the process and gives us an excuse to procrastinate. Instead go around your house and collect all of the random boxes, bins and bin less Tupperware and organize with that. It won't be perfect but it will be functional, at least for now.
4. Set a timer.
Why not set a 15 minute timer right now and just go through your junk drawer? Or set a 25 minute timer, grab a trash bag and see how much you can find in your closet that could be donated today.
Friend, it is very possible that you have been procrastinating doing something like decluttering for a couple years, but in reality it could be done in just a couple minutes.
5. Get your family involved.
Make it into a game! Each person gets a bag or two and has to fill it with as much stuff as they can (their own stuff of course!) in 15 or 20 minutes. Then after you drop it off at a donation center, get yourselves some ice cream as a reward! You can literally do this every weekend if you wanted. You get your home decluttered and teach your kids some valuable lessons about organization.
I hope you have really enjoyed my simple but effective tips and I especially hope that this blog has inspired you to be more introspective when it comes to the pressures you put on ourselves when it comes to perfection.
I would love for you to take a moment to share this post with a friend that you think might benefit from this blog and the applications I've shared.
If you are interested in learning more, please feel free to contact us.